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The Three-peat is on, said Collingwood President Eddie McGuire, shortly after his side lost Saturday’s Grand Final to the Brisbane Lions. “No other side, let alone any other Collingwood side, has lost three Grand Finals in a row- we are already aiming to achieve this unique record in 2004.”

When asked what improvements to the side could be made to assist in this quest, McGuire made mention of a number of things that he thought could be done. “We aim to recruit under the father-son rule Rhys Shaw’s younger brother. Remember that Ray Shaw, Rhys’ father, played in five losing Grand Finals”, said Ed, “plus if he plays as badly as his brother did on Saturday and is as gutless as Rhys it can only help. We want that sort of experience and commitment in our side, and will make every effort to get it.”

President Eddie also mentioned the possibility of bringing Rene Kink back into the fold, pointing out that The Hulk had not only played in losing finals at Collingwood, he also played in a losing Grand Final at Essendon. Eddie thought that such an example would be a great example and motivation to the playing group. McGuire did not think that the playing group needed any additions to achieve the record now clearly in reach.

Pies Captain Nathan Buckley thought that next year he could do a bit more. “I think next year I might belt someone in the Prelim. I need to talk to Fabulous Phil, Jason and Anthony about this one”, said the skipper.

When asked who their greatest threat was, McGuire stated that he thought the Port Power were the one team that stood in their way of losing next years Grand Final. “They’ve nearly got the full package. Their coach played for Collingwood, their best player is the son of a Collingwood player, they play in black and white, and their supporters are all dickheads. But can they go all the way and lose a Grand Final, or are they only good for losing Prelims ? Have they got the commitment to be more of a laughing stock than they already are ? We want Collingwood to be by itself in that category. Damn that 1990 side. If those buggers hadn’t won we could now say we have lost 12 G.F’s in a row since 1959. That side of 1990 just has to live with that stat.”

Football Manager Neil Balme was asked who he thought was the team that would beat Collingwood in the 2004 Final. The former Richmond strongman pulled one out of the hat when he said Carlton. “After all, we have lost lots of finals to Carlton, and I think they may bounce right back and beat us again. The players were a little flat after the game, but we’re all mentally preparing for next years big effort.”

Goal sneak Leon Davis said he was disappointed about his effort this year. “In 2002, I didn’t get a stat. In 2003, I actually touched the ball. Not good enough, I need to go back to basics.” Paul Licuria is already packing his kit for 2004, promising to include an extra packet of tissues for after game celebrations. The football world will be watching Collingwood with keen interest over the summer, particularly since they will be leaving long time home Vic Park for their new home closer to the city and the MCG.

It was left to President Eddie (who else) for the last word. “This club is aiming for new heights, a new tradition, built on the old, but keen to move forward at our new home. We are now closer to the G where we lose all our best finals, and we think we can lose flags even more frequently now we are closer to the home of footy. You think you’ve seen Colliewobbles before. You ain’t seen nothing yet”