WASHINGTON, DCâ€â€After decades of antagonism between the two global powers, the U.S. has officially severed relations with Them, Bush administration officials announced Tuesday.
“They have refused to comply with the U.S. time and time again,” Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld said, following failed 11th-hour negotiations Monday night. “It’s always unfortunate when diplomacy fails, but we could not back down. We have to be ready to fight back, in the name of freedom, against all of Them at once, if necessary.”
Rumsfeld added: “If They’re not with us, They’re against us.”
U.S.-Them relations have been strained for nearly three years, but disagreements came to a head last week, when two of Their leaders opposed a U.S.-drafted U.N. proposal seeking cooperation from Them in important peacekeeping missions.
“We’ve tried reasoning, but Their agendas are in direct opposition to ours,” Vice-President Dick Cheney said. “They stand in stark defiance of stated U.S. policy. We cannot and will not allow Them to dictate global policy.”
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