Jimmy's weblog

Sobig, LoveSan, Welchia, LoveBug, Melissa, Code Red, Nimda, Klez, Bugbear, Sircam, Badtrans, Magistr et al…

I, for one, would like to welcome our virus and worm overlords and hereby submit that Windows is the most secure and stable operating system in the history of our planet.

I would also like to heartily thank BillG for using the wonders of denial of service to bring the benefits of the Windows security model to those of us unfortunate enough not to use his products. His Trustworthy Computing Initiative truly has been a success with nary a buffer overflow affecting the latest Windows release.

Although I understand his selfless motives, I hope that Bill’s efforts to turn Microsoft Network in to a for-pay, Windows-only network fail to remove Windows computers from the wilds knows as the Internet. Virus transmission vectors are important in any natural environment.

I pray that the MSN search engine removes Google from its dominate position allowing all searchers to benefit from Microsoft’s integrity, sense of fair play and wisdom when returning results.

I look forward to the future of Windows Palladium when my computer no longer has to trust me, and offers clever virus writers the opportunity to lock me out of all my documents. A permanent subscription model will allow me to pay permanent financial homage to the Redmond God.

Amen.